fun with interns

while I'll be the first to jump to the defense of most any of the interns who have worked at any of the various & sundry companies i've worked for in my far too many years in the "entertainment" business...this summer, at my dayjob, we've been blessed with perhaps the most um...story-worthy intern i've come in contact with in a good long time...now i'm not talking about the kind of intern who sleeps with the band, or the boss, or the janitor [we've all met those] but the kind of intern who can turn the simplest task into a creative and challenging endeavor which sends the entire office in a head-shaking frenzy...today's example of said intern's many-storied career this summer: he's given a list with specifics on which brand, which color, which finish and which store at which to purchase 4 gallons of paint to paint an office. intern has called the store and confirmed that they have in stock the correct brand in the correct color and has obtained a price quote for approval...Problem #1 after 40 some minutes, said intern calls the office. PROBLEM: they do not have the correct brand in stock. intern speaks with company PRESIDENT and confirms an alternate brand of paint will suffice. Problem #2 45 minutes later...intern calls the office again, speaks to Star Assistant and now says that not only is he confused as to which brand he is supposed to buy but there are now too many options for him to choose from and he's not sure if an office should be painted with "Interior Room" paint or not...this is confirmed as a possible & probably BEST choice for painting an...INTERIOR ROOM...Problem #3 one hour later...intern calls...he thinks he has purchased the WRONG brand of paint...apparently there is an errant suffix involved in the NAME of the BRAND of paint and this has him very confused and upset...Star Assistant now explains that perhaps he should go back to the store and purchase the CORRECT BRAND of paint (as specified some three hours earlier...)...intern's cell phone is now shut off...he has disappeared...with several dollars of petty cash & a brand new Metrocard not belonging to him...just before we close the office for the day...our lost intern has returned, 4 gallons of the (sort of) correct paint in hand, even remembering a receipt and change. keep in mind, this is a full time college student in his third year of study who ostensibly, is "doing very well"...the country is in good hands...