The covers of this book are too far apart.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and don't want to meet them.
-- H. L. Mencken

Never try to tell everything you know. It may take too short a time.
-- Norman Ford

No one travelling on a business trip would be missed if he failed to arrive.
-- Thorstein Veblen

Never go out to meet trouble. If you will just sit still, nine cases out of ten someone will intercept it before it reaches you.
-- Calvin Coolidge